12 lessons from 2021
2021… What. A. Year. In every possible way.
2021 was another year with Covid running the show in all the headlines, as it trickled its way into our conversations, our work places, our coffee catch ups and our lives. Some people pushed to their limits, some people pushed too far and some people not impacted too much. The full spectrum was on show, and the one thing that it showed us is that we are all here together, going through things in some way.
2021 showed me a lot. A lot about myself as I looked inwards more than ever and more about the world and how we live.
I used to think I would reach a limit of how human I feel. As I let go of more as time goes on, I remember we can always feel more alive. I had people around me that held me up and helped me manage to make it another incredibly beautiful year.
I sung like I’ve never sung before,
I rode the bumps,
I was the happiest I’ve ever been,
I took some hits,
I was able to acknowledge, observe and feel what I was feeling more than ever,
This allowed me to play more,
I felt younger than ever,
Yet wiser than ever before,
While feeling like I know more, simultaneously less than ever before,
I really found what lit my heart alight,
And I had the love of my life by my side the whole time.
I’m so grateful and glad I can say that the limit of how happy I can be and how much I love life is always continuing to grow.
However, there were plenty of lessons learnt and plenty of tears, more than any other years.
I had to go through some tough times and as I acknowledge the year that has passed this was a list of the twelve lessons I learnt, that helped me navigate the year as best as I could.
So here are the twelve lessons that 2021 taught me…
A list that I believe would set us up for a fulfilled life and a list I could look back upon to check in with myself. A map of some philosophies and lessons to navigate life.
1. Be impeccable with your word. The words we use give us insight of how we view ourselves and the world. Take care with them, be impeccable and watch it shift how you view life.
2. Feeling the need to fix something. If we think we need to fix something, that means we see it as broken. Therefore we do not see it as it is, perfect and as it should be. What happened, happened, and what is, is, because it couldn’t be any other way. If things we feel, think or experience were meant to be different or ‘fixed’, they would be. So can we practice observing ourselves and overcome the temptation to instantly “fix” things. Everything is teaching us something and leading us somewhere. Always remember…this doesn’t mean we don’t want to change or improve something. Just change our view of it, allow it to be, see it as ok and move forward from a more peaceful place.
3. Listen more. We have two ears and one mouth, say little and listen with love. One thing said, doesn’t mean a host of other things. Don’t construct answers mid conversation, be comfortable with the unknown and let it unfold. This is presence. Allow space, really listen and then respond and act as you feel. Listen with care, listen deeply, listen more.
4. Hold space. Can we be a container for people to feel safe and accepted as they are with anything they feel? Acknowledging their reality, holding space to allow it all. We have to slowly practice feeling everything, working on this to be able to do it better for the people we interact with. Can we do this for others but most importantly ourselves? If we do not hold space for ourselves, how are we meant to hold a safe space for others?
5. Listen to your heart more. Can we open the path between our mind, throat and heart? Listening to what makes it sing the loudest and come alive. Live your life leading with actions from the heart and words from the heart. There is nothing more beautiful.
6. Do what’s best for you. Live your truth. A classic analogy from the airplane safety instructions…“put your own oxygen mask on before helping others”. We may feel bad or guilty at times, and that’s ok, we care. But know that doing what’s best for ourselves from a place of love, is what’s best for others as well. If we alter what we want to do for others, then what relationships and life are we creating? It’s not what we purely want. They are not real relationships. Doing what we are called to do from a place of love with good intent only brings immense peace, faith and trust.
7. Tell the truth. The truth will always arise. It is too powerful to stay hidden. Telling truth creates ease in the body, avoiding unnecessary build up and stagnation. We need to be brave to tell the truth. We become vulnerable. What if we get cut down and ripped apart for expressing our truths? We might, but that’s ok, it brings us closer to the people we are meant to be around. Tell the truth, speak your truth and acknowledge other peoples truths. A sometimes scary, yet beautiful and brave way to be in this world.
8. Be ok with silence. This one is challenging. We are constantly engaged, distracted, doing or talking, so how well can we deal with silence? Can we begin to feel comfortable in silence and not the feel the need to fill up time with talking, distracting or fixing. Deepening our trust, can we allow the silence to let things arise and see where it takes us. Being ok with silence brings immense peace, therefore no mater where we go we know we have ourselves as a home.
9. Go into the darkness and choose to look at the darker parts of yourself at a deeper level before you are forced to. Go into isolation and face your shadows before your shadows cast themselves over you. I spent a lot of time in variations of lockdowns this year and this was one lesson I was most grateful for. Live in a way where we expect the unexpected and be ok with the unknown. It takes time and is a constant practice. Become familiar with who we are, familiar with ourselves and our shadows, before we get forced to.
10. Don’t try to change people. This can creep in, and is a way of putting ourselves in a ‘higher place’ where we know better, our Ego doing what it loves to do. Allow people to be who they are. Be comfortable with what we believe, what we do and who we are, letting others do what they do. This doesn’t mean we agree with what they believe or do, but they’re doing it…so we have to see it as them doing their best. That’s ok! Because we’re happy and just doing our best too. I see this as a beautiful, yet sometimes challenging expression of unconditional love.
11. View the tough times as they are, without our own preconceived expectations, attachments or narratives. Try to be an onlooker of our thoughts and feelings, without completely becoming them. If you feel a certain way, allow yourself to feel it and acknowledge it. You can let it consume you at times, but always remember it will pass. It is not you.
12. BE LOVE, Live from a place of love, practice love, be brave enough to love, no matter what. Love someone, love life, love your work, love your coffee, love your weekends, love your down time, love your life. We are love. Move what we have learnt out of the way and BE LOVE.
These lessons played a massive part in how I was able to navigate and deal with 2021. It was difficult at times, but they allowed me to love everything as much as possible. I hope you find value in these lessons and I hope they allow you to also navigate your own life better.
Lots of love, Oliver x